timepass

I just finished reading the collection of memoirs of Protima Bedi. So many times while reading the book i have felt just like she felt in her life. Her feeling miserable after being a victim of child abuse. Her unrequitted love for Kabir inspite of her and his flings. Her dying need to be on her own and not to be tied down, yet at the same time looking for the security of a caring indvidual who would give anything to care for her.
Somtimes i have said the same things that she has said in the course of her early life.
Where is my calling? What will bring me happiness? Where will i eventually be? Where is this life going to take me? Should i fight to achieve or follow the path unfolding in front of me?
Show me the light oh Lord!!!!
I don't want thislife tobe just a Timepass!!!