MS

Recently on my holiday to India, I chanced upon a book in my father's library, which i had contemplated on buying earlier but hadn't for some strange reason. It was a biography on the Life of MS. Though I am very curious to read about the lifes of famous people especially in the field of Music and dance, I am some what sceptical about Biographies, in the sense that they have always changed my opinion about a lot of people, simply because it has been written by someone else. Maybe this is my mind block. I actually prefer autobiographies.

Nevertheless, I did read the book. It gave me many insights on her life and threw light on a lot of the lesser known facts about her and her famously dictative husband, Sadasivam.

What struck me was that rebels of a certain generation, no matter how massively the have deviated from what was perceived to be conventional among their contemporaries, invariably become an icon of tradition for the next generation. Isn't that amazing.

MS had a very adventurous early life, because of everything that she chose for herself and associated herself with. Having been looked at as a total modernist of her times, she turned herself into the ultimate manifestation of a middle class brahmin housewife, no matter all her racy and stormy past. Her talent famously harnessed and orchestrated by her husband supplemented her submission to control and restrictions.

Yet she had an aura of a true Diva. A timeless beauty, voice and all, a life, determination, dedication, total submission and gut truely inspiring.

The Power of Disguise!!!!

Ever wondered the value of a costume?

Recently i got thinking about this during the magnificent Christmas day brunch that we were hosting at The Wharf. The Santa Claus is a legend, that has lived for a long time, always mesmerising and transporting the dreamy eyed 3-4 yr olds into a world of fantasy and fables.

In spite of the tremendous metamorphosis, the basic red and white fur ball character as been immortal. Never ageing anymore. I wonder if kids even think about the younger days of Santa Claus. What could he be possibly doing? I wonder if they even wonder, where Santa gets all the money to buy all the presents?

We all know the the Santa bubble bursts as the years pass by , when we start to realise that after all, babies are not brought by the storks, and the likes.

But still the power that a Santa's costume carries is so tremendous, that on that day i thought, ' it is indeed incredible how the red and white bundle actually commands so much of adulation and attention'.

I was watching as our own Santa glided on the shimmering waters of the Arabian gulf on a traditional Arabian boat. There were loud cheers and surprised gasps those that had been reserved specially, probably practised for this day, the whole year.
Little children are the ones who have the most amazing and timeless expressions, worth living a life for.
Later when the Santa was distributing gifts, a young boy all flustered and panting after a visibly hot chase of the Santa, walks up to good ole Santa and says with a doe eyed astonished expression,'SANTA, where were you? We were looking for you everywhere!! thank god we found you!!!'
These are the words of a three year old that lives in a totally non suspecting world, filled with endless possibilities and fabulous fantasies.

That's when I thought, an ordinary guy as M, behind the red and white costume, transforms into this immense and all conquering Santa. While the red and white costume lies in a changeover bag, i wondered again, does this have any value now? How it came alive just a little while ago. It is after all a costume!! No one once thought of the person behind the costume. They only saw the character. The Santa.

Do we gay men also go behind personality costumes, so no one would recognise us? Do we also command wider and better respect behind these 'costumes'? Are we so scared to be ourselves? Can we show the world who we are without hiding and yet attract all the attention?

The Power of Disguise is surely powerful beyond comprehension. But is this power really necessary?

....................<>...........................

The sun shines through , moisture not withstanding,
rises to leave, urged to look for better bearings,
The sun sets,
we light candles,
Open to serve,
dance to every fancy,
powered by every whim,
a calm and peace, painfully delivered,
so easy it seems, yet so hard we feel,
from greeting to seating, paying and leaving,
circles within circles, bound by the rhythm,
the magnet that sucks the energy,
from deep inside them, they can't still fathom
is the life we chose to live.....


of the dreams and desires...
of passion and dedication, ...........

Acceptance

When I look around me, I see that lot of our lives revolve around gaining acceptance for the things we do. I often wonder, why do we have this craving for acknowledgement and accpetance? Where does this kind of an urge surface from?

There are some people I know who live their lives the way they think is the widely accepted way. In the process loose their entire identity. Why would you want to wear certain clothes, only because one thinks they would be looked up with high regard, and therefore will enhance your personality, or speak a certain way cause that will raise your status.

Don't you think in such a gamble, the person will forget, what he /she really wants. What were his/her true ambitions and true personality. There are some who forget completely who they really are cause they are so busy being somebody they perceive to be cool.

There is, I believe, a thin line between, such a perception and widely accepted social norms. People who have been famous are the ones who have complied to norms yet have been themselves.

Imagine a society where nobody is pressurised to prove anything to anybody. There would be numerous personalities that would make plain living itself such an enriching experiance.

Instead we are like puppets, trying to be a certain way without realising for whom we do it. So much that some even start denying their nationality and roots, not realising that no matter how much one denies their roots, we still are what we are only because of our roots.

Be what you are. You are unique in every sense of the word. All you need to do is follw your heart and be yourself, instead of pretending to be somebody else!!!!

Two juicy oranges after tiring, hot summer's day......

There isn't anything more pleasurable than having to peel and savour the juiciness of two lovely cold oranges after the end of a particularly hot summer's day. Toiling in the heat sweating it out for the pleasure of a few. This is my latest discovery.

I relish every drop of the orange juice as i reminisce the lunch i had with V, the afternoon of yet another hot summer day. Inside the womb of a massive shopping mall terrace, one doesn't feel the heat. As though one is wrapped in fiction. Forced to believe what is not. Like a baby is sheltered in the safety of its mother's womb, we (V and I) experiance the feeling of a pre monsoon drizzle while we sit in this contraption in the middle of the desert.

A meeting thus progressing, naturally 'auto saves' itself in the memories deepest chests. How often can one open up to a total stranger. Sharing your every emotion. Laying your trust in someone, u never knew until few days ago. Just our sexuality bringing us together. Believing his every word about himself to be true.

It is not quite often that we meet lovely individuals in our lives, that when we meet it is hard to believe that the joys of that meetimg remains nowhere but in one corner of our brain, where all sweet memories are destined to be locked in for the pleasure of just one person. ME....

Falling in love!!!

After spending numerous, well quite a few years trying to understand the whole concept of falling in love and after stumbling on it a couple of times and after counselling!!!! a few wannabe couples and a few 'already couples had a fight' and few 'cheating on each other couples' and few 'broken up couples', i should be christened 'relationships counsellor', or 'love sticher' or something.

Anyways, i have come up with these 2 theories , that are conflicting and am trying to figure out which is right.

One is that if you like somebody and decide to fall in love, then go out of your way to make your feelings known and then try your best to woe him. But in this scenario, there is a possibility that the other guy does not like you. In which case your effort goes in the dump.

On the other hand, you could wait until somebody falls in love with you and then evaluate him to decide if you like her. In such a case, you might have somebody you don't like fall in love with you, or there might be someone who likes you but thinks that you don't like him, so is waiting for you to make the first move.

I guess both of them oil down to one point.

Just Keep trying!!!!

Still doesn't answer my question!!!! Should i fall in love or wait for my prince charming?????


Answer!Answer! where art thou?

Table for 2? right away...

Having chosen the hospitality, restaurant business in particular by my own choice, i wonder sometimes, what made me take this decision. I have always answered the same whenever i have been asked this, that it is people and food that have dragged me into this profession.

Working in the same restaurant for the last 3 years, I have seen many join this place with me, have left and new ones joined and left too. Being quite positive, i don't look at my staying here for so long as a negative, nevertheless I am trying my best to move out.

However, the reason I am writing today is because of something that has bothering me for quite sometime.

People who dine in the restaurants dine there for various reasons. Entertainment, Status, business, to show off or just plain hunger.

People who work in restaurants also work there for many reasons. Passion, Career, no choice or simply to make money.

Now in between these two comes this whole experience of the meal. The waiter provides, while the guest enjoys.

We have all this unwritten notions about various professions, that i don't know comes from where. Whatever it is. The bottom line for every restaurateur is to achieve guest satisfaction. For us it is a major part of our job and many of us got at great lengths to get the approval of guests.

Sounds simple. No. The problem arises with the expectations that guests come with. Nothing worng with that. Every human is not the same. Well, i don't expect them to be, the fun in this job is because of the variety we see everyday.

The problem also lies in the fact that we don't realise that every guest is different. In our pursuit to offer consistency and high quality standard, we fail to realise that each one has different expectations.
It is obvious that it is very difficult to figure out what exactly is every individual's route to happiness or satisfaction is.
There are some who are so easy to please, yet others will complain no matter what u do, some want you next to them all evening, for some u have to behave like a servant, while others treat u like any other person. The restaurant profession is a very grey area. No obvious rules. So people are so unsure as to how they should deal with a restaurant staff.

After thinking about all this, one thing i am sure about, is that the weakest point every human has is the ego.
It is the ego that is appeased of every satisfied guest. Every guest nees to made to feel important. It is the restaurant they know, even if you are nothing outside, u are still royalty. Whether a millionaire or a carpenter they are all treated like royalty.

But every restaurateur has to have the skill to be at all the levels to recognise the ego levels they need to boost, which few possess. Many have their own ego to deal with before they deal with guest's.

Guess what i am trying to figure out is, What makes people happy? Why are we taught what should make us happy? Why should we not figure out ourselves? Why do we need our egos to be boosted? Why are we taught to have set notions about people, professions and expectations?